Sunday morning

Good morning! Analese and I have been hanging out while Greg and Mara are sleeping in. We snuggled on the couch for awhile, but then she got bored and is now playing with her pile of necklaces. She has her own system in playing-she sorts them all out and then puts one color around her neck, and then the next....once she has them all on, she takes them off and starts over!

Analese still is not sleeping well at night. The other night Greg came home and found her wide-eyed, bedroom light on, at 1:30 am. That same night, I woke up around 3:30 to find her standing in our doorway. She is pretty unemotional about it all. When I ask her why she is up, she simply states "I don't like the dark". She goes back to bed very easily, no protests at all. Her behavior causes me to think that perhaps she isn't fully awake when she does this, but who knows at this point! All I know is that she isn't sleeping at night, up at 6 every morning, and only sometimes takes a nap....She has always been such a great sleeper, I hope this phase will end soon. The other night I left the door to her room open to see if that helped make her feel better, and it worked that night-no more getting up. But then last night I had just finished getting Mara to sleep and found her laying out in the hall again!

Mara is another one having issues with sleep. Why doesn't anyone want to sleep around here? For Mara though, the problem is clear-it's her teeth. My poor baby is getting one after another, and it is really causing her pain. The past few nights she just wants to nurse constantly, draining every bit of energy out of me. But this is easier to take, since I know this is only a temporary thing.

So of course if the girls are not sleeping, then neither am I. Greg is more then willing to help out with nighttime parenting, but it often takes so long to get him coherent enough to understand what he needs to do, and then keep him awake long enough to do it.....it's just not worth it! It's funny-when Analese was a baby, he handled all of the nighttime diaper changes, and now-Mara could be screaming in his ear and it simply wouldn't register.

On Friday we were supposed to start a new playgroup, but I had to cancel. This no-sleep thing is definitely impacting our schedule. Mara slept in until 8:45, and by the time she finished eating, it was almost 10 o'clock. Both girls were pretty unmotivated so I didn't push it; we spent the morning down in the playroom instead. I may have to rethink our Fall schedule, I'll see how next week goes. We have a busy week, with an allergist appt, 2 play dates, and dance class.

Yesterday I spent the day writing a paper for my sociology class. Greg volunteered to take the girls out of the house so that I could actually get some work done without too many interruptions. I was actually able to finish it! I am really trying to put less pressure on myself this semester regarding school, I don't know if it's possible but I will try. As Greg tells me, I am a bit of an over-achiever:)

Today I hope to just relax a bit, and have some family fun. Have a great Sunday!

"Analese the Ballerina Bernhardt"

So today was the BIG day! Analese was finally able to begin her dance class. I was a bit nervous, as we had received a phone call last night informing us that the pre-ballet class we had signed up for was canceled. They suggested placing her in the "tot combo" class, which was a combo of ballet, jazz, tap and tumbling. I was pretty hesitant-it was an hour long and I was worried it might be too much for Analese to take in. BUT-I also had the dilemma where she was expecting to go to dance class that morning....so we decided to give it a try.

This morning Analese was soooooo excited, mainly to put her leotard on again but also to go see all the mirrors in the studio :) We talked about listening to her teachers-I asked her what she was going to do if Ms. Dar said to sit down...she said "I am going to dance!" and that was her answer to everything.

As we drove to the studio, she kept saying "I am just so excited!" I just crossed my fingers that the excitement would continue once we got there. Once we walked into the studio, she became a bit nervous but still kept the smile on her face. She wanted me to hold her as more and more girls came in all dressed in their leotards, so I did for a bit. We put her ballet shoes on, and her teacher told them to come into class and sit down. Analese took a few steps into the classroom, and then turned around. We made eye contact and her eyes started to get wide...uh-oh, I thought, she's going to cry. But, her teacher noticed her standing there and told her again to go join the kids and have a seat so that they can start class. Surprisingly, she headed over and sat down.

Greg showed up to watch her first class too. I love that about him. He doesn't want to miss out on these moments, and will work late in the evening if he has to so that he doesn't. He also helped take Mara for awhile so that I could just watch Analese. It gave her such a thrill when she looked out into the window and saw us there.

The first few minutes she just watched, taking it all in. But as her teachers began to show them warm-up exercises, Analese slowly began to copy them. She watched her teachers very intently, and I was so proud at how hard she tried to do what they asked. Even the other mothers commented on her level of concentration. Yes, my baby has no problems concentrating! She is the smallest in the group, and one of the youngest. I am so mad that I did not bring my video camera...next week.

Of course, I will admit to feeling a bit choked up from time to time. I couldn't help but think of a time not too long ago when no one could look at Analese-let alone touch her-without invoking a stream of tears. My baby has come a long way, and is now ready to take on some new adventures on her own. It took awhile, but she got there.

So she did very well, but I knew the hour was long for her. Once we got into the car, she broke down crying. First-because Daddy had to go back to work, and then she just wanted me to hold her hand for a few minutes. Finally, we were ready to go home.

The funny thing-I had agonized over this studio because of how expensive it was, at $20.00 a class. The tot combo is $26.00, but Greg and I just decided we had to do it. I found out today it is "26.00 A MONTH!! How great is that?

As we pulled into driveway after class, Analese told me that she just wanted a carrot for lunch. When I asked her if she was turning into a rabbit, she said "No, I just Analese... I just a girl" I told her she would never be "just a girl" and she screamed "oh that's right! I ANALESE THE BALLERINA BERNHARDT!!!"

This had both girls giggling, so of course it was repeated, over and over again......

Sitting.....

Patiently waiting for a ride......

THREE is the magic number.....

Yes, I now have Jack Johnson singing in my head :) The girls love his music and we felt especially blessed when he did the soundtrack for Curious George-another favorite in this household :)

Mara has been waking up on and off since I put her down. This may be a looong night for me! Her teeth have been bothering her all day, so I had a feeling tonight was going to be tough.

My sweet Analese is such an intense child, and the age of three has brought about many changes for her. It has brought the concept of fear into her life, and she has had some problems sleeping. A few weeks ago, she kept seeing a crocodile in her room, and it caused her to keep getting up and turning her light on. We came to realize she was seeing what she thought was a crocodile in a shadow on the wall, so Greg did some rearranging and the croc went away. Now she just doesn't like the dark. I am hesitant to bring in a night light because of the shadows it will create. Last night she was up several times and was up at 4:45 this morning. When I came in to her brightly lit room, the first thing she said to me was "I don't like the dark". I told her to close her eyes and she wouldn't see it...it worked!

Being three has brought out some very raw emotions. It is often surprising to me just how upset she can become because something is a bit out of place, or her train fell off it's track, etc. Often I have to help calm her down before I can even learn exactly what the problem is. Over the past few months, the intensity of these emotions have become even more elevated, and I am often at a loss as to how I can help her. For one, I feel like she has a right to feel whatever emotion she is feeling. It bothers me when people try to downplay her emotions, or tell her to stop. But then I have even been guilty of doing this after the tenth outburst of the day! I usually try to give her clear messages..."it's OK to feel angry, NOT OK to kick, push, throw5", etc. Sometimes its successful, sometimes not. I feel like she will eventually "get it", and learn how to self-regulate herself. We just have to be patient with our little monkey :)

When she first becomes upset, my first goal is to remove Mara so she doesn't get hurt, and then move Analese to a location where she will be safe (and away from things she can throw). I usually give her a minute to scream, cry, etc. and then ask her if she would like a hug. This usually works-she'll come lay in my lap and cry. Often she'll tell me "I can't stop crying" so I just tell her to cry. The biggest cause of these situations happens when Analese is trying to play with something a certain way, or build something...and little sis comes and wants to help. My biggest challenge seems to be finding the balance...finding ways to give Analese some alone time, but also requiring times when they need to play together.

It is often funny to see how others interpret one of Analese's outbursts. You can tell what they are thinking just by the look in their eyes. For those with children age three and above, I often see a sense of understanding.....they have been there and it doesn't phase them. This is such a sense of support for me, and keeps me grounded that this is indeed a phase. Then there are those with a) no children, or b) children younger then 3. I often get the sense that they truly do not understand, that Analese is misbehaving, being a brat. I get the sense that they feel I need to do something, to stop her, put her in her place. I feel like saying "just you wait!" but that wouldn't be very nice now, would it? (and of course no one would ever believe that this could be their child one day)

Today was one of those particularly tiring day. Hopefully tomorrow will be better.

I just found Analese laying outside her room in the hallway, her bedroom light on... Yes, this may be a really, really long night.

Weekend Photos

We have had a nice relaxing weekend. Greg has now gone into work for a few hours and I hope to get some studying done when he gets home (yes-I am a nerd and start working before school even starts :) )
I love this photo. This was taken early yesterday morning. Greg was again trying to relax on the couch, and Analese runs back to her room to get him her blanket AND a princess crown!

We went to my aunt's house yesterday for some crabs, swimming and to meet the newest addition to the family. My cousin was up visiting with her sweet baby girl-it was so nice to have a little baby in my arms again! The girls absolutely loved her, and it was interesting to watch how curious Mara was with her. Usually when I hold someone else, she gets a tad jealous and wants me to pick her up. Yesterday she kept showing me to put the baby on the floor, but I think it was just so that she could see her. She loved being able to hold her, and kept pointing to all her features-her nose, eyes, etc. She cried when her turn was up.

The girls had a great time, and managed to do pretty well considering they didn't have a nap all day. There were some tears, but it could have been ALOT worse :)
We were debating whether or not I should attempt to have some crabs, and decided not to :( Mara is doing so well, I am just hesitant to try anything new right now-especially one of the top 8 allergens!

It is so nice to see how comfortable Analese is becoming at family events. She was a talker yesterday-blurting out random information to those around her, like "I sleep in a bed in my room!" It was adorable! She absolutely loves her cousin Kelsey. I overheard her ask her "Would you like to hold my hand?" Such a sweetie :)

Here are some photos of our weekend!

Daddy's Girl

Every weekend morning, Greg attempts to relax after breakfast and watch some television. And EVERY time he does this, Mara brings him a book to read (and usually the same ones of course!) She has been becoming such a Daddy's girl on the weekends, it is so sweet to see!

Hush Little Baby.....

Well, I want to start out with some big news in this household! Mara has slept through the night, and I mean she has slept completely through the night! She fell asleep around 9 pm and woke up around 7:30 this morning!
I should back up a bit and announce that we have begun the process of moving Mara into her own bed at night. She has been sleeping in her crib for naps, and has been showing us signs that she's just getting too big for the cosleeper attached to our bed....plus the fact that she gave me a heart-attack a few weeks ago by diving out of her cosleeper (I think she got confused and was trying to crawl into our bed). So a few weeks ago I began putting her in her crib at night, and when she woke up to nurse, she slept the rest of the night in the cosleeper. A few nights ago, she became pretty restless after nursing, rolling and kicking around in the cosleeper, until I finally asked her if she wanted to go into her crib. To my surprise, she blurts out a "yeah!" So into the crib we go....she's asleep in 5 minutes!
I am just so proud of her, and to be honest, I am so proud of us as well. Mara set her own pace and I am so proud of us for respecting this and just following her lead. I guess I have gained some motherly wisdom this second time around!
I just find the whole topic of sleep can be a perplexing topic among parents of young children. It is THE question most asked to new parents "So how does he/she sleep?" (and usually followed by some tips on what they did to create these incredible, deep-sleeping comatose children). Open any parenting magazine out there and there is sure to be at least one article on how to get your child to a) sleep through the night, or b) take really long naps. We Moms do it to each other, comparing notes on what works, what doesn't-and let the worry set in when it seems that everyone else's children are sleeping peacefully but your own.
With Analese, I will admit I bought a couple books on sleep because, well-that's what you do when your a new mom and wonder if your doing it right. There is always the fear that you are messing things up, and will surely pay the price for it later! Analese was a great sleeper at night-sleeping through the night by 6 weeks old. But naps were a different story....oh, how she fought them! I did learn some important tips on to identify her sleep cues, which began surprisingly a lot earlier then I had suspected, so she was so overtired when I did try to put her down that she just couldn't get settled. She also did not like her crib for the first 6-7 months, which makes sense when she slept with us at night. So naps in our bed for awhile worked perfectly, eventually moving to the cosleeper and then to her crib. For some, this may seem like a slow and tedious process, but is there really a need to rush?
Years ago, if you were to tell me that my child would sleep in my room for over 19 months, I would have laughed and wondered what I had done wrong. I would have stressed how important it was for the child to learn to sleep on their own. But becoming a parent certainly changes you and your expectations of parenthood. I have since realized that every child is different and unique, with their own rhythm in life. The most important thing we can do is respect that. We are so often judged on silly things, like how well your child sleeps at night, that we often put pressure on ourselves and our children to speed things up. But why rush it? They are only so small for such a short amount of time, and once it's gone, well, it's gone. I know that I will always treasure the nights I have had with both girls-the nighttime cuddles, watching my little one fall into a deep and peaceful sleep. And waking to see a smiling face beaming at you is completely priceless.
I guess I am feeling a bit sentimental tonight. I feel like this is the beginning of the end for our nighttimes with Mara. While I do feel like we are all ready to move forward, I will admit to feeling a bit sad. My baby is growing up....all on her own terms.